Trunks Briefs' Guide to Living with Vegeta
by Majin Videl
Summary: In this episode, Trunks follows Vegeta around, and enlists the help of Goku to make things worse. And all for the sake of a survival guide. Part III of the Vegeta series


"Oh, hello there! My name is Kirari Morgayne and I'm your host for this evening. If you've found this video, then odds are you got it in the 5 dollar bargain bin at Wal*Mart, or, its likely you were skimming the late night channels and happened to stumble across this. It's come to my knowledge that the formats of the previous two installments were how to say, against the ToS, so I will try to attempt a new format. Something a little less script-like. This installment includes some of your favorite Z-Senshi characters such as, Trunks, Pan, Goten, Bra, Bulma, and of course, Vegeta. I ask that you do try and comment as well, it helps me to know what to write next. Please, sit back and enjoy the show." As the camera goes fuzzy, a crunching noise is heard as she munches on a pickle. Suddenly the camera comes to life again. "I forgot to mention two things: I do not own Dragonball Z, but I wish I did. Man, how I wish I did. And two, I haven't written anything in over four years, so please forgive any errors."

Daily Routine – Surviving the Rituals

Training – Without getting pwnt.

Kakarot! – How to deal with Kakarot (Goku)

Food – A crisis is here!

Children – Whelps!

Tips from the Veterans

Director's Cut – Note.

**Daily Routine – Surviving the Rituals**

"So I see Trunks still has this going, eh? Today will be spent exploring the daily ritual of Vegeta, we will continue tomorrow. Well, since he enlisted my help, I suppose I should start off by saying that this camera is likely to be busted quite a few times. If it cuts out, be patient, it will re-patch sooner or later. For this segment, we have a hair camera…which is an invention of mine that you can braid into your hair so people don't see it." Bulma smiles an innocent smile, turning to Trunks with a nod. Holding her breath, she opens the bedroom door.

"Kakarot," Vegeta mumbled in his sleep as he tossed about. "I am the hero of earth, not you!" Bulma chuckled and went over to the saiyajin, opening a small pack of jerky. If there was one thing Vegeta loved, it was jerky. Vegeta took one whiff, then two. "Kakarot, you smell like…bacon…"

In an instant, Vegeta was awake and glaring daggers at Bulma. Ripping the jerky from her hands, he devoured it and continued to glare at her. "Why are you looking at me like that, woman?"

"Nothing," She chuckled as she turned around for a moment to see if Trunks was still there. Of course he wasn't. "Breakfast will be ready in an hour, go get your shower."

Once Vegeta was in the shower, Bulma took this opportunity to get breakfast started. An hour had passed, then two, and she had successfully created a meal fit for a Saiyan prince. Turning out of the kitchen, she went back upstairs and looked for the prince. The shower was still on, so it could only be assumed he was still in there. Bulma entered the bathroom, and pulled aside the shower curtain to reveal Vegeta's naughty bits. However, since you're seeing this video second hand, the naughty parts were censored out.

The day went on as usual with bits of "daddy can I have a car" followed by a prompt "no", and quite a few "I'm still recovering from the pink hair dye, and that was a YEAR ago!"

The rest of the day went on without any spectacular events. Mostly the usual _gravity room, lunch, training, more lunch, yelling at Kakarot, sparring with Trunks, more yelling, lecturing, ignoring, and a bit more training, followed by dinner._

**Training – Without getting Pwnt.**

"This part of the survival guide unfortunately got destroyed by Vegeta during filming, so the safest way to survive is to simply be Goku." Bulma muttered as she turned off the camera.

**Kakarot! – How to deal with Kakarot (Goku)**

As the camera comes back to life, a bowl of rice can be seen, but soon pans out to reveal Goku, devouring most of the food on the table that had been originally prepared for Vegeta. "Hi!" Goku cheerily said through a mouthful of food. "Pan asked me to help with this part of the survival guide…but I'm not sure what I'm helping with. I just know that Bulma is a nice lady to make me all this food."

Vegeta can be seen in the background, cracking his knuckles as he walks through the doorway. A few moments pass, as Vegeta suddenly realizes what Goku has done. "Kakarot! You incompetent fool! What have you done with my dinner?"

Goku paused for a moment before thinking about it. After putting the bowl of rice down, he patiently looked at Vegeta and offered him a dorky smile. "Well, see, she told me I was allowed to eat while I was here, and she told me I was allowed to have whatever I want since she'd be shopping lat-" Goku never finished however, since Vegeta upended a bowl of noodles in Goku's hair. "Oh, well, see, that's just downright rude. I didn't even say anything to welcome that, like 'hey, this one's on me', or 'I have noodles on my mind', see that was just uncalled for."

"Psst," Trunks said from behind a corner. "You were supposed to eat the food _after _we did the next scene…the food was next." Trunks peered around the corner again, only to see his furious dad, and then vanished into the hallway.

"I'll deal with you later, whelp." Vegeta shouted as he turned to Goku. "About my food, Kakarot." He mumbled stalking towards a very confused Goku.

"Uhh, wouldn't you like a carrot instead? They're good for you, nom nom, carrots?" Goku asked, slinking into a corner, briefly afraid. "Trunks is videotaping your reactions!" Goku shouted as a scapegoat.

"**What!?** Where's the camera?" The prince demanded as he growled at Goku.

"Over there," Goku pointed. Clearly, Goku was pointing at the camera, as his finger was seen. "Uh, bye."

Vegeta pointed his finger at the lens, and a small blue ball of ki appeared on the tip. Shortly after, fuzz.

**Food – A crisis is here!**

_WARNING: Due to Goku getting pummeled to death by Vegeta, this scene has been cut out._

**Children – Whelps!**

"Hi!" Bra cheered as she looked into the camera. Maybe a little too close for comfort. "Since this part is about daddy, Trunks decided to get me involved as well. We're just going to take a moment to replace that old camera that he destroyed."

After Trunks had the camera mounted on top of a bookcase, he chuckled at his sister. "Burra, are you ready?" Bra nodded and Trunks chuckled. "Alright, tell them what you have to deal with on a daily basis with Dad."

"Dad's nice to me, what do you mean _deal with_?" She sighed and stared at the floor for a moment. "When I want something, and I mean really, _really _want something, I do this." She stared at the floor again, then raised her head slowly, lip quivering and eyes watering. "It works every single time."

"It doesn't work for me!" Trunks shouted from behind her as he sighed and folded his arms. "If I want something, dad makes me earn it by winning a battle against him. Man, you have it so easy, Burra."

"Easy my butt! Do you know how hard I had to work just to get that new car? I had to use every single trick in the book! And don't get me started on dating Goten, there was no way he was going to have that." Bra looked into the camera again and made a face, deepening her voice. "No child of mine is going to date one of Kakarot's whelps! That's for damn sure!" She yelled mimicking her father almost perfectly.

"You dated Goten? He never told me." Trunks suddenly became infuriated. "The only reason he let me marry Pan was because he said 'well the oldest whelp has some brains, maybe it will trickle down and make my grandchild smart'. I still think he only did it because Gohan is smart, and Videl is a fighter, which makes Pan a…_logical fighter_!"

"Get real, the only reason he did it was to get rid of you. You're so annoying." Bra muttered as she watched him. "Besides, I thought this part was for me, and me only?"

"Well, it was. Until you said something, and as the director, I am allowed to add commentary as I see fit. It helps get the right aura."

**Children – Whelps (Continued)**

"Veggie, I've been thinking about it…do you think Trunks was right in marrying Pan?" Bulma asked, staring at her husband whom was now eating a carrot. It was the only thing left in the house to eat, and the name reminded him of Goku. "I mean, she's a nice girl, but it seems that Trunks has gotten more…childish since being with her."

"I don't care. Jake is a fighter, and a mean one at that. That boy did one thing right in his life, and that was allowing his son to train." Vegeta took a hard bite out of the carrot and glared at Bulma. "Go shopping, woman!"

"What do you say? You don't just tell a woman 'go shopping', what do you say first?" Bulma growled folding her arms over her chest.

"Go shopping now, or I'll make sure to destroy everything in your lab…or level the whole building." He paused and muttered something unintelligible under his breath, then huffed out a sigh. "_Please_."

"That's better. And I'll go after I'm done here. Do you think Burra is getting too reckless?" Bulma sat at a kitchen chair and watch Vegeta toss yet another carrot stub over his shoulder. A slow pile was forming, and she had a vague feeling that this was an immediate fail.

"She's getting soft." He said biting into the carrot, and trying desperately to make a meal out of it. "What's with the puppy dog look? It isn't fooling anyone. I hate it. It makes her look soft, and I know she isn't. _No child of mine will date a spawn of Kakarot_!"

**Tips from the Veterans**

The camera fizzles on, and a round table can be seen with Bulma, Trunks, and Bra, sitting around it. Included later will be Pan, and Jake. "So, what I want us to do here is to just…tell some of your favorite memories involving my dad, and some tips you have for living with him, or dealing with him in general." Trunks announced as the camera slowly panned in on Bulma.

"I don't think I have a favorite moment with your father." Bulma mumbled as she tapped her finger to her lip, staring at the ceiling. "Actually, come to think of it, I think my favorite moment with your father was when we got married, because it was the only time in a long time that he was nice to anyone." She considered the latter for a moment, and then continued. "As for living with him, I can just say to make sure you have a sense of humor, and a lot of food."

Slowly, the camera panned in on Bra. "My favorite moment with daddy was when he played tea-party with me…it was the only time in a long time that he did, but it was fun. And as for dealing with him, I can just say that the puppy dog look almost _always _works."

"Panny-Chan?" Trunks asked his wife, saving his or Jake's comments for last. "Do you have anything to contribute to this?"

"Well I've only had to _live _as a relative to him for five years, so I can't really say anything productive. I have no memories with him that I'm proud of, so I'll just skip ahead to living with him. I've come to find in my own personal experience that dying his hair pink may be funny to you, but painful to him. Literally painful." She paused and turned to her son, smiling thoughtfully at him. "Your turn, sport."

"Grandpa Goku's awesome!"

Pan sighed and looked to her husband for some kind of relief, then back to Jake. "We're talking about Grandpa Vegeta."

"Oh…Grandpa Vegeta's mean!" He frowned and folded his arms. "He makes me fight him."

"That's news to me," Pan said with a sideways glance to Trunks, whom was now fidgeting uncomfortably.

"Anyway, I'll just…continue later…since, I'm about to be-" Trunks never had a chance to finish as he was grabbed by the ear and dragged mercilessly through the halls of Capsule Corporation.

**Director's Cut – Note**

"I can't help but wonder why people continue to watch these, since…no one else really has to live with my dad, but, I guess it just kind of works. So anyway, I had to replace two cameras in the process of filming this, as my dad has literally no sense of humor. I've got to admit though; he was a good sport for the most part…since he didn't know what was happening for most of it. I just wanted to let everyone know that this may be my last installment of this series, since uh…" Pan could be seen behind Trunks, smacking a broom on her hand. "And, my wife is about to kill me for not telling her about Jake. I hope you all had fun and…see you in otherworld."


End file.
